NOTEPAD

Did you hear about the red boat that collided with the blue boat?
Both crews were marooned.

Or the guy at the secure psychiatric unit who raped two cleaners before escaping?
"Nut screws washers and bolts."

Did you hear about the midget clairvoyant who escaped from prison? Headlines read, "SMALL MEDIUM at LARGE!"
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List of inventors killed by their own inventions:

Thomas Andrews (1873 – 1912) died with 1,516 others when his innovative, "unsinkable" design for the RMS Titanic proved to be much more sinkable than he had anticipated.

Alexander Bogdanov (1873 – 1928), a physician and scientist, conducted an experiment with a "rejuvenation" technique wherein he deliberately gave himself a transfusion of blood from a student suffering from malaria and tuberculosis. He died shortly afterwards as those two diseases ravaged his unrejuvenated body.

Thomas Midgley, Jr. (1889 – 1944), the inventor of leaded gasoline and chlorofluorocarbons, contracted a severe case of polio, possibly in part due to an immune system weakened by his exposure to lead and other chemicals in the course of his chemistry career. This illness might well have killed him were it not for the pulley-operated system he designed to help move his debilitated body into and out of bed, which entangled him in one of its cords and strangled him to death at the age of 55.

Victor Frankenstein (1794 - 1818), a scientist, used insights into the chemical processes involved in the decay of living tissue to create an independently functioning creature assembled from spare human parts collected from local corpses. He contracted pneumonia and died while pursuing the creature, which had escaped, to the Arctic.

Shouldn't God be on that list?
He should be on the list of inventions killed by their own inventors.
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"Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." - Mark Twain

It's a pithy saying but I think this quote has outlived its usefulness. Our Congressmen and women are not idiots--they have figured out a way to make a very comfortable living in a prestigious job free from practically any oversight from those people who can hire and fire them (us). We, the absentee bosses, are the idiots.

It'd be nice to blame the media for their lack of interest in the ins and outs of policy-making but then again, we know that CSPAN doesn't get hardly any viewers. Once again, we are to blame for that. That Nancy Grace or Bill O'Reilly or Glenn Beck have platforms is an indictment of what we as a society have become. - Someone.
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Homer

What he's eating:

Pinchy the lobster

What he's crying about:

Pinchy the lobster

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